Neeners is a woman of many talents – however, computer skills are not one of them. Lately I have been attempting to teach her the finer points of posting comments on Facebook. During one such lesson, as she is peering at her computer screen…”Hey, I cannot believe how many people spend time on this thing. Just look at all of this!! Show me how to tell them to get a life!!” I sigh…”No, I will not. There are unwritten rules about social media, and one of them is to BEHAVE. Besides, you’ve been looking at this yourself for about an hour. What about getting your own life?” She snarled…and then… “Oh look! There is my brother and his wife, smiling and hugging at the coast. Show me how to write ‘Get A Room!’. So I did. I mean, after all, it was her brother.
We then moved on to a lesson on how to write an email. “OK Neeners, when you’ve finished writing your email, just look up at the top of the screen for the paper airplane. Click on it, and your email will be sent. Got it?” “Of course, she replied. How stupid do you think I am?” Two days later, I arrived at the garden for my watering chores. Here is what I found waiting for me on the back porch:
I sensed frustration. Since she was not at home, I decided to go ahead an water the garden and hope I could escape before she came home and her wrath descended upon me. I see that Miss Smarty Pant’s tomatoes continue to blow mine out of the water.
My tomatoes continue to be unruly. I fear for their safety.
Oh no…what do I hear? Is it? Could it be? Yes – Neeners has come screeching into her driveway. Well, at least she hit the driveway this time, so she is making progress. I wait….”The Garden Fairy is here!!!” she sings out. Oh joy. “Hey, next time you talk to Deek (this is what she calls my husband, Dick) tell him that I need a new corkscrew. My old one broke”. “What are you doing for your happy hour if your cork screw is broken?” I ask. “Well, what do you think? I’ve been using a pair of pliers”. Of course you have. I sigh – again. “Just try and sift the broken glass though your teeth until we can get you a new one”. And on to the garden: