We all knew this would happen, didn’t we? She had to beat me – just had to. And here you have it in all it’s Early Girl glory: The first ripe tomato of the season. But wait – there is, as always, a story behind it all. It all started last week. I was watering, and noticed that many of my tomatoes had wandered over the sides of the raised bed framework. This spelled trouble, since Neeners does not allow disobedient plants to go beyond established perimeters. And then…she appeared as if by magic, brandishing her clippers. She was also sporting a new look: Bright green garden glove on just one hand – either the Michael Jackson or Kermit the Frog of the plant kingdom. “Your tomatoes are too big, and have gone over the sides” she proclaimed, raising her green gloved fist in the air. “They will have to be chopped off!!”
“Now wait just a minute”, I said. “Don’t you think it’s a little early to be hacking away at these things? I mean, especially since the ones you have in your sights are my tomatoes, and not yours”. “Of course not”, she huffed. “You need to trust me. I have experience in these matters”.
And then, feeling quite proud of herself, wanted to pose in front of her three bushes. I ignored her the best I could, and left for the weekend. Two days later, I came back for my watering shift. Stopping first in her patio, I spied a piece of paper. What’s this? A note. Oh, it must be Neeners letting me know how much she missed me the last couple of days. No….
The Nolan in question is my uncle, and she had promised him her first born tomato. I cautiously ventured out into the garden, and sure enough, she had clipped the sides off of every one of my tomatoes that had gone overboard. But not only that, she had clipped the living daylights out of her own. And revealed, much to my horror, a treasure trove of Neenerized tomatoes. HOW DOES SHE DO THAT???
My poor little Indigo Roses are trying valiantly to keep up. The rest of my tomatoes don’t have much fruit. ….and she appeared again (I don’t know how she does that, some voodoo sixth sense, letting her know I’m within striking distance). “Your tomatoes want the sun and you’d better do something about it – fast”.
I hate to say it, but am seriously considering turning her loose on my tomatoes. Of course, it’s probably much too late for that….I fear she may have taken matters into her own hands.
I have a sinking feeling that the Armenian Cucumbers will be next on her hit list. I planted them in the back end of the garden, in hopes she would not notice their tendency to grow like crazy. She has already made one comment, and a veiled threat. She much prefers Lemon Cucumbers, and will cut these Armenians (my favorites) no slack. I may have to engage a security company.
Here are her Lemon Cucumbers, soon to be ripe. I heard her crooning over them in the garden yesterday. “Hello my precious. Would you like to come to my house to dinner tonight?” “Neeners! Please!!” I hollered, “That is just way too Hansel and Grettle – you are creeping me out!!” She cackled..
On a happier note, things are progressing well in other areas of our happy little garden. Here are some photos:
Until next time, happy gardening!! xoxox